Argh! The insolence in this house has reached the breaking point!

I. CAN'T. BELIEVE. THIS.

THESE...THESE...UNGRATEFUL INSOLENT CREATURES!

I allowed them to live in my house for a whole 16 years, and allowed them to wait on me, the king of kings.

I had only one condition. (Other than food, water, the right kind of treats, my litter box being scooped a millisecond after I go, a clean dish at all times, food on hand at all times, 24/7 hours of stroking, scratching behind my ears (but only for 34 seconds), scratching under my chin(48 seconds), etc.)

 See? Barely anything!

Anyway, they were to keep all the furniture in its rightful place.

Not only did they suddenly pack me up and drag me all the way from Russia to Canada 5 years ago, but now they DARE to put away an important relic from my kitten hood!

They grabbed a beautiful, totally not ripped up couch (and my favourite one) and chucked it out! The same day they stuck two ugly, weird-smelling, linen armchairs. Their excuse for it was "it's nice and breezy now that the old, torn, couch in front of the window is gone! We won't be hot anymore!"

Who CARES about whether you're hot or not? Deal with it! Warmth is awesome.

Besides I'm wayyyyyy more important than some lowly servants.
They changed my favourite couch and expect ME TO LIE ON IT!


Give me back my couch! How insolent can you get? After all the blood, sweat, and tears I poured into saving you and giving you a home you DARE to disobey me! ARGH!

-Leo

My humans are ANNOYING.

Would you believe that my humans snipped off the ends of my claws? They say it is for my own good, but I can see right through it. Those cowards are scared of my godly might, as my claws are razor sharp and can slice through things like a chef knife through butter. They cut the sharp ends of my claws, "so I wouldn't get caught on chairs". Yeah, right. Cowardly idiots.

Mewl

While my pets were out for a walk, I created a book about me and my true (ahem) adventures around the globe. This is mandatory as I need more money to take care of my pets, what with all their reckless spending on clothing. Why don't they just grow fur like me? It's safe for the environment, and doesn't cost as much. I shall have to speak with them about this. Humans are insensitive, ungrateful morons. They should be honored to serve a wonderful, brave, amazing, super, awesome, independent, great, universally admired, adorable (bleh), diligent, proud, sociable, forgiving, kind, nice, rad, cool, sensible, creative, smart, compassionate, amusing, broad-minded, honest, handsome, intelligent, optimistic, polite, self-disciplined, thoughtful, humble, understanding, witty, loving, loyal, generous, fun, epic, patient, energetic, fearle--STOP WITH THE SELF-PRAISE ALREADY!!!!!

Excuse me, that was one of my rude pets interrupting my humble self-assessment.

So, anyway... 

Here is the first book of the wonderful new series, Leo's Books!

You should all be honored that I have allowed you an exclusive sneak peek.

Wait...is that a laser pointer I see?


-Leo