Argh! The insolence in this house has reached the breaking point!

I. CAN'T. BELIEVE. THIS.

THESE...THESE...UNGRATEFUL INSOLENT CREATURES!

I allowed them to live in my house for a whole 16 years, and allowed them to wait on me, the king of kings.

I had only one condition. (Other than food, water, the right kind of treats, my litter box being scooped a millisecond after I go, a clean dish at all times, food on hand at all times, 24/7 hours of stroking, scratching behind my ears (but only for 34 seconds), scratching under my chin(48 seconds), etc.)

 See? Barely anything!

Anyway, they were to keep all the furniture in its rightful place.

Not only did they suddenly pack me up and drag me all the way from Russia to Canada 5 years ago, but now they DARE to put away an important relic from my kitten hood!

They grabbed a beautiful, totally not ripped up couch (and my favourite one) and chucked it out! The same day they stuck two ugly, weird-smelling, linen armchairs. Their excuse for it was "it's nice and breezy now that the old, torn, couch in front of the window is gone! We won't be hot anymore!"

Who CARES about whether you're hot or not? Deal with it! Warmth is awesome.

Besides I'm wayyyyyy more important than some lowly servants.
They changed my favourite couch and expect ME TO LIE ON IT!


Give me back my couch! How insolent can you get? After all the blood, sweat, and tears I poured into saving you and giving you a home you DARE to disobey me! ARGH!

-Leo

Nope.

"Leo! Look here!"

"Nope."

"Okay :("

I have a box (another word from the Great Philosopher Leo)

I have a box. Not "I can haz box?" Contrary to the popular (and stupid, I may add) belief, we cats can spell. It annoys me so much when humans know that they can't spell because they are too dumb, and blame it on smart, sophisticated, cats. We are so benevolent as to allow these embarrassing images to remain.

-Leo

P.S-My rude pets are trying to steal it, saying they need to return a computer. Can you believe this? A computer is more important than me. A COMPUTER.

Those insolent beings tested my patience twice today. TWICE.

 CAN YOU BELIEVE THE OUTRAGEOUS MANNER THEY ARE BEHAVING IN?


I was just picking up the newspaper to read today when they grabbed it from me, saying "Leo, don't bite the newspaper!"

And I said, "I'm not biting it! I'm picking it up!!"

Then one particularly insolent pet began pretending to read it, even though they can't read.

But I got my revenge.

Now, let me warn you, I'm normally a very nice and forgiving cat, but today they drove me crazy! I got so mad, I unsheathed my claws, leaped through the air, and landed, hissing, onto the insolent pet's face.

It got so scared, it dropped the newspaper, and I quickly picked it up and went back to my armchair by the fire.

Here's me:

I get the best armchair because I'm the master of the house.

Ugh, now they're yelling at me to get up.

I must go now to let those gormless idiots know I will decide where and when I will sit.
-Leo