Ever had that moment when...

Ever had that moment when you derped so hard that you herped?

This is photo from two years ago! Can you believe it?

Sorry for the sideways picture. My phone derped as well ;)


Can we make it to 3000 pageviews?

-Christina

Sorry!

Sorry everybody. I was really really REALLY busy this month. I promise to go back to daily posts!!!! Sorry again to all my readers!!

-Christina

And yeah! For the record, I TOLD HER to update the blog. She could've listened, but noooooo...all she said was "Leo! Stop Meowing!" Seriously? I clearly told her, "Meow. Meow-meow-meow-purrrr."

But nooooooooooooooooooooooo......

Blame her.

-Leo

Singing with Passion/Leo's Search for Her Part 8 and 9

Happy Saturday! Just because it's Saturday, have a special treat!

    


Leo sings with passion:

 

-Christina and Leo

I refuse.

I'm sure that everyone with a cat and a camera has more than once tried to take a picture of their kitty in a really cute position, only to have kitty turn away as the shutter snaps. Leo was sitting on the back of the couch today, looking cute. Of course I scrambled for my camera and hopped up to sit beside him a take a picture. I hoped that I'd get a great-looking photo of Leo looking right at the camera, revealing his beautiful green eyes in all their glory. This is what I got:

Oh, you want to take a photo? Hold on, let me turn my head.

Leo suddenly became highly interested in the couch pillow behind him.

Yes, Leo refused to look at the camera. Why am I not surprised?

-Christina

What's that, mom?

What's that, mom? You've got treats?

 "Sorry to burst your bubble, but no, I don't. And you already had 6 cat treats today. How about posing for a photo though?"

No treats, no pose. Go away.

Humans can be so cruel! So it's totally okay for them to guzzle that weird bubbly stuff and go to town on solid brown things (which taste really bad to me. Of course, that might be because cats can't taste sweet things.) and have chips! I know what chips are because that's all my pets ever talk about. "Hey, can you buy me some chips?" "Sure thing! What kind do you want?" "Get all of 'em!" It is just so unfair. I'm an active cat (more active than them anyway) and I could run those calories off in a second. Meanies. Humans are cruel.

Now excuse me, I must go annoy my servants with my meows so they give me treats.
-Leo

I have a box (another word from the Great Philosopher Leo)

I have a box. Not "I can haz box?" Contrary to the popular (and stupid, I may add) belief, we cats can spell. It annoys me so much when humans know that they can't spell because they are too dumb, and blame it on smart, sophisticated, cats. We are so benevolent as to allow these embarrassing images to remain.

-Leo

P.S-My rude pets are trying to steal it, saying they need to return a computer. Can you believe this? A computer is more important than me. A COMPUTER.

My humans are ANNOYING.

Would you believe that my humans snipped off the ends of my claws? They say it is for my own good, but I can see right through it. Those cowards are scared of my godly might, as my claws are razor sharp and can slice through things like a chef knife through butter. They cut the sharp ends of my claws, "so I wouldn't get caught on chairs". Yeah, right. Cowardly idiots.

Mewl

While my pets were out for a walk, I created a book about me and my true (ahem) adventures around the globe. This is mandatory as I need more money to take care of my pets, what with all their reckless spending on clothing. Why don't they just grow fur like me? It's safe for the environment, and doesn't cost as much. I shall have to speak with them about this. Humans are insensitive, ungrateful morons. They should be honored to serve a wonderful, brave, amazing, super, awesome, independent, great, universally admired, adorable (bleh), diligent, proud, sociable, forgiving, kind, nice, rad, cool, sensible, creative, smart, compassionate, amusing, broad-minded, honest, handsome, intelligent, optimistic, polite, self-disciplined, thoughtful, humble, understanding, witty, loving, loyal, generous, fun, epic, patient, energetic, fearle--STOP WITH THE SELF-PRAISE ALREADY!!!!!

Excuse me, that was one of my rude pets interrupting my humble self-assessment.

So, anyway... 

Here is the first book of the wonderful new series, Leo's Books!

You should all be honored that I have allowed you an exclusive sneak peek.

Wait...is that a laser pointer I see?


-Leo

Arghhhhh!

I'm so mad! Meow! Meowmeowmeowmeow!

One of my humans(my pets) always has some random other humans coming over to MY house! I mean, who gave my pets the right to invite other filthy humans to my house! And the worst part is, they treat me like a toy! Yes, you heard me correctly, those idiots grab me and shake me and basically treat me like a pet! The nerve of them!

Now, I don't even like it when people start picking me up (well, there is one exception), but this was bordering on insolence! They grabbed me by my paws! Helloooooo! Personal space, please!

They dragged me around and petted me, but since I'm so good and kind, I didn't bite or scratch them. However, my patience is growing short. One day, they will take it too far and have to face my wrath!

They're back and dragging me around again, and saying what a cute cat I am.

Cute...cute...cute?!!!

I'm a self-respecting, independent, wise cat! I am most certainly NOT cute!

Just go away, all of you! A young cat like me needs his beauty sleep!

Meoooowwwww

Hello people, welcome to my blog, and all that. Now, let's get down to business.

You see that title of this blog? That is a lie. I repeat, a LIE! I am not old! I'm only 14 or 15 in human years. I'm only...84 years old! How is that even old? I'm such a young cat! I can jump 1 whole inch in the air. What cat can boast that?

And also, my fur is so handsome. I am ginger covered with darker spots down my back and a pure white underbelly. So much nicer than those other tabby and calico cats.

I live with my 3 pets/servants, but it'd be nicer alone. I mean, what part of meow don't you understand? I spent all day mewling by the food bowl today, but did one of them even think of refilling it? They put fish in it. I hate fish. What's wrong with good old chicken?  But noooo, they just stood around and yelled, "Leo, there's a ton of food in there. Eat it!" And I answered, "Fetch me chicken, stupid slave!" It finally crossed their primitive minds to give me delicious chicken.

And then, I realized I had BEEN FOOLED! They gave me stale, rotten, yesterday's leftover chicken, while THEY FEASTED ON BIG CHUNKS OF FRESH MEAT!!!!

But it doesn't stop there. 

Not only did they eat the fresh meat without even sparing their master a thought, they ruined it! They put the raw meat on a giant piece of metal and made it brown! They made it brown by using fire! It was horrible. I commanded them to immediately give me my giant share of the meat. The raw meat. They yelled for me to go away. Can you believe those insolent creatures?

I don't get why I had to do this. If it wasn't for my generosity, my humans would be freezing in the snow outside. Since I have such a big, kind, wonderful heart, I allowed them to stay in my house and be my pets. They are so insolent, abusing my kindness like that.

Well, I must leave now. It seems those obnoxious idiots need my help once more, they are yelling LEO at the top of their voices.

-Leo

P.S-Since I am too sophisticated for insignificant, primitive computers, I have upgraded one of my other more loyal pets to be my secretary.