What's that, mom?

What's that, mom? You've got treats?

 "Sorry to burst your bubble, but no, I don't. And you already had 6 cat treats today. How about posing for a photo though?"

No treats, no pose. Go away.

Humans can be so cruel! So it's totally okay for them to guzzle that weird bubbly stuff and go to town on solid brown things (which taste really bad to me. Of course, that might be because cats can't taste sweet things.) and have chips! I know what chips are because that's all my pets ever talk about. "Hey, can you buy me some chips?" "Sure thing! What kind do you want?" "Get all of 'em!" It is just so unfair. I'm an active cat (more active than them anyway) and I could run those calories off in a second. Meanies. Humans are cruel.

Now excuse me, I must go annoy my servants with my meows so they give me treats.
-Leo

YES!!!!

My humans have left the house!!!!!

Time for some cake and partying. I think I'll invite my friends.

Meoooowwwww

Hello people, welcome to my blog, and all that. Now, let's get down to business.

You see that title of this blog? That is a lie. I repeat, a LIE! I am not old! I'm only 14 or 15 in human years. I'm only...84 years old! How is that even old? I'm such a young cat! I can jump 1 whole inch in the air. What cat can boast that?

And also, my fur is so handsome. I am ginger covered with darker spots down my back and a pure white underbelly. So much nicer than those other tabby and calico cats.

I live with my 3 pets/servants, but it'd be nicer alone. I mean, what part of meow don't you understand? I spent all day mewling by the food bowl today, but did one of them even think of refilling it? They put fish in it. I hate fish. What's wrong with good old chicken?  But noooo, they just stood around and yelled, "Leo, there's a ton of food in there. Eat it!" And I answered, "Fetch me chicken, stupid slave!" It finally crossed their primitive minds to give me delicious chicken.

And then, I realized I had BEEN FOOLED! They gave me stale, rotten, yesterday's leftover chicken, while THEY FEASTED ON BIG CHUNKS OF FRESH MEAT!!!!

But it doesn't stop there. 

Not only did they eat the fresh meat without even sparing their master a thought, they ruined it! They put the raw meat on a giant piece of metal and made it brown! They made it brown by using fire! It was horrible. I commanded them to immediately give me my giant share of the meat. The raw meat. They yelled for me to go away. Can you believe those insolent creatures?

I don't get why I had to do this. If it wasn't for my generosity, my humans would be freezing in the snow outside. Since I have such a big, kind, wonderful heart, I allowed them to stay in my house and be my pets. They are so insolent, abusing my kindness like that.

Well, I must leave now. It seems those obnoxious idiots need my help once more, they are yelling LEO at the top of their voices.

-Leo

P.S-Since I am too sophisticated for insignificant, primitive computers, I have upgraded one of my other more loyal pets to be my secretary.