Under-appreciation

I don't get this. After I was done in the litter box, I carefully kicked out exactly 500g of litter around my litter box in an intricate, beautiful formation. I then proceeded to trap some litter between my paws, and spread my paws at exactly the right moments to make wonderful, lovely decorations to disguise their horrible, scratched up (not my fault) black carpet. Sure, it's nice to scratch on, but that's not the point.
ANYWAY, as I stepped back to admire by handiwork, THE STUPID, INSOLENT SERVANTS I took in so long ago (oh what a mistake that was) yelled "Leo! You tracked litter all through the house!" and uttered disgusting things while they vacuumed up my Masterpiece.

HOW COULD THEY? They don't appreciate my art! Hah! It's the same with my kibble. Nothing makes me angrier than watching them feast on roasted chicken while I get tasteless, disgusting, "hairball control"dry kibble, and sometimes some sort of pasty meat. It's actually quite delicious, but you know what I mean. Hair ball Control! Hah! A) it's a beautiful work of art, B) They're the ones who need Hairball Control, what with the strands of hair EVERYWHERE! I was going to post a lovely picture, but Miss I-am-so-important Christina decided SHE had the right to erase it? Why does SHE go through MY private blog anyway? I don't recall giving HER permission.

And another thing. Miss Christina I'm-so-high-and-mighty Skylarina has BRAINWASHED me into associating the scent of cooking onion with edible, marvelous meat. Now, she tempts me by frying onion WITHOUT MY meat, and then has the NERVE to look surprised and yells at me to go away and let HER eat! Hah! The nerve of her! Doesn't she know I'm always superior to her and her hunger? Why am I supposed to care if she doesn't want to eat meat for dinner? I want meat, and that's all that counts! She doesn't appreciate my genorsity of letting HER eat at all!

I am so under appreciated in this household!

Leo

It's a random post!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :)

I have absolutely, positively, negatively, no idea what to post today. :D

So you can all look at this fantastic photo of Leo and bask in his glory.


That's right everyone! That's enough of laughing at my carefully planned out "mistakes". Now, bow down to your true, fantastically robed king!

"Fantastically robed", Leo? Really? What's that supposed to even mean?!

Well, just look at my perfect gold fur. And it's all ruined by that stupid black collar! You should've got me a collar fit for a king, embedded with lovely 16 carat diamonds and plated with gold!! But noooooooooo....all you care about is yourself! You don't care about me at all!

I'm sorry, you poor kitty. Do you want some treats?

No! I'm not speaking to you....wait, Treats? Okay...well...fine. But don't think for even a moment that you are forgiven! I...I...I won't sleep in your bed anymore!!! Then you will pay for what you have done to me!

I think I can live with that, Leo.

-Christina and Leo

Sorry!

Sorry everybody. I was really really REALLY busy this month. I promise to go back to daily posts!!!! Sorry again to all my readers!!

-Christina

And yeah! For the record, I TOLD HER to update the blog. She could've listened, but noooooo...all she said was "Leo! Stop Meowing!" Seriously? I clearly told her, "Meow. Meow-meow-meow-purrrr."

But nooooooooooooooooooooooo......

Blame her.

-Leo

Clumsy Idiotic Idiots

Can you believe this? This is going too far! My servants begged me to allow them to invite a few people. Well, being the nice cat I am, I allowed them.

You want to invite them AGAIN? Ugh, fine. Just this once.

So they came.

And not only did they come, but they didn't pay any attention to me! THE MASTER OF THE HOUSE!!! 

And that's not the worst part. Not by far.

When they were leaving, I, Leo, the cat of cats, the cat that cats only wish they could be, the great, benevolent, amazing, kind cat, master of the house, adopter of my servants, ACTUALLY GOT UP AND CAME TO THE DOOR TO ESCORT THEM, because I am so nice.

Guess what they did?



THEY. STEPPED. ON. ONE. OF. THE ROYAL PAWS!!!!!
 And they had the insolence to yell at me for being in their way!! Even though I went through all that trouble just to escort them!!

That is the last time I will ever allow any guests in my house!

Insolent idiotic clumsy idiots!

-Leo

Peace and Quiet...Finally.

I can finally relax. Can you believe it? I can't. They finally left me alone.




Is that a vase with some delicious flowers I see? Be. Right. Back.
*crash*

Leo! Was that you? No, why? What happened? I heard a crash. What crash? What? Leo! Why did you knock over that vase? I was eating the flowers! It's not my fault they're in a vase. You should've left the flowers out, but nooooo you put them in a vase! You can't blame me, because if you kept them out I wouldn't have knocked the vase over. Ha! Leo, we're having guests over today! Now, I need to clean up that giant spill. Still not my fault. FYI, my food bowl is empty. It has food at the edges. I'm telling you, it's empty!

See what I have to put up with?
-Leo

What's that, mom?

What's that, mom? You've got treats?

 "Sorry to burst your bubble, but no, I don't. And you already had 6 cat treats today. How about posing for a photo though?"

No treats, no pose. Go away.

Humans can be so cruel! So it's totally okay for them to guzzle that weird bubbly stuff and go to town on solid brown things (which taste really bad to me. Of course, that might be because cats can't taste sweet things.) and have chips! I know what chips are because that's all my pets ever talk about. "Hey, can you buy me some chips?" "Sure thing! What kind do you want?" "Get all of 'em!" It is just so unfair. I'm an active cat (more active than them anyway) and I could run those calories off in a second. Meanies. Humans are cruel.

Now excuse me, I must go annoy my servants with my meows so they give me treats.
-Leo

Did I mention that I'm a writer too?

I, Leo, am a very talented cat. I am a fully qualified yoga cat instructor, I am an amazing teacher, and have I mentioned I am immensely good at writing? No? Well, I am. I have the best writing skills on the planet.

Don't believe me? Hmph. Well, watch this:

 What's that?

I'm not grammatically correct sometimes?

Excuse me?

EXCUSE ME?!!!!

Excuse me?!

Yeah, that's what I thought.


-Leo

I have a box (another word from the Great Philosopher Leo)

I have a box. Not "I can haz box?" Contrary to the popular (and stupid, I may add) belief, we cats can spell. It annoys me so much when humans know that they can't spell because they are too dumb, and blame it on smart, sophisticated, cats. We are so benevolent as to allow these embarrassing images to remain.

-Leo

P.S-My rude pets are trying to steal it, saying they need to return a computer. Can you believe this? A computer is more important than me. A COMPUTER.

Those insolent beings tested my patience twice today. TWICE.

 CAN YOU BELIEVE THE OUTRAGEOUS MANNER THEY ARE BEHAVING IN?


I was just picking up the newspaper to read today when they grabbed it from me, saying "Leo, don't bite the newspaper!"

And I said, "I'm not biting it! I'm picking it up!!"

Then one particularly insolent pet began pretending to read it, even though they can't read.

But I got my revenge.

Now, let me warn you, I'm normally a very nice and forgiving cat, but today they drove me crazy! I got so mad, I unsheathed my claws, leaped through the air, and landed, hissing, onto the insolent pet's face.

It got so scared, it dropped the newspaper, and I quickly picked it up and went back to my armchair by the fire.

Here's me:

I get the best armchair because I'm the master of the house.

Ugh, now they're yelling at me to get up.

I must go now to let those gormless idiots know I will decide where and when I will sit.
-Leo

My humans are ANNOYING.

Would you believe that my humans snipped off the ends of my claws? They say it is for my own good, but I can see right through it. Those cowards are scared of my godly might, as my claws are razor sharp and can slice through things like a chef knife through butter. They cut the sharp ends of my claws, "so I wouldn't get caught on chairs". Yeah, right. Cowardly idiots.